By Rosemary Nunogawa | Special to the Herald

The Diocese of Honolulu will begin its seventh formation class for permanent deacons in the fall of 2009. Information sessions will be offered on several islands this fall for active Catholic men, 30 and older, who feel called to this particular vocation. The Hawaii Catholic Herald will be publishing articles by deacons this summer to re-introduce readers to this special ministry. This issue’s author, Rosemary Nunogawa, is the wife of deacon Jerry Nunogawa of Hilo.

My journey to becoming a deacon’s wife has been an extraordinary, blessed and life giving experience.

During the first year of the deacon program, the aspirancy year, we spent a great deal of time in prayer, reflection and spiritual devotions so we could make such a life changing decision. We got as much information from the presenters, deacons and fellow candidates to help us make our diaconate decision. We also made prayerful efforts to be open to what the Lord was telling us about the diaconate.

Discernment was one of the hardest things we had to do as a couple in the four years of the program. When we felt the Lord’s call was genuine we became at ease with the program and with our decision. I remembered what a fellow deacon candidate shared with us, “…if you believe the Lord brought you to the diaconate; the Lord will guide you through it. All you need to do is trust.” And so we did!

The first year of candidacy started off with uncertainty. Our formal acceptance into the diaconate was announced in our parish bulletin and in the Hawaii Catholic Herald. Soon after the announcement, the “what ifs” showed up. What if we can’t make it? What if we had to drop out? What if our health fails? What if the work was too demanding? What if we couldn’t make the traveling demands? What about the expenses?

It wasn’t long before our comfort level improved. Our pastor, Jerry’s spiritual director, the formation team, our family, fellow candidates, and the parish family were supportive of our efforts. The gifts of support poured in and continues to this day with words, cards, and calls of blessings, prayers, well wishes and thanksgiving from many of our faith family. It was very heart warming knowing that our family and parish community were praying for us.

The next three years of classes and lessons were outstanding. We looked forward to the weekends, and the hectic-ness of “running to the airport to catch an airplane” hardly seemed as inconvenient as I thought it would be. The weekends were jammed packed with classes but still filled with love, support and care for each candidate. After all, we were becoming a deacon candidate family. And as a family, we had some fun times.

I recall listening to outstanding national presenters and clergy teachers. I was especially impressed with the outstanding credentials and professional presentations of the priests in our dioceses. I am constantly reminded of one of the presenters, the columnist Father John Catoir, author of many books and a regular feature in the Hawaii Catholic Herald. His basic message was about one of our gifts of faith, the “gift of joy.” He continues to help me to work on showing my faith “joy.”

Ordination in February 2007 was a blessed event with our parish family. We were so pleased we could share it with our loved ones. The bishop’s presence made the ordination very special. Finally, after four years of traveling, studying and answered prayers, the long diaconate journey had come to an end. But in reality, it was only the beginning.

Life after ordination was delightful. Our parish family was kind, generous and attentive to our new status. The nuns would sit by me so I would not be a “pew widow.” Friends and parishioners would comment on the nice job Jerry was doing; his great homilies, easy-to-listen to voice, and his presence at Masses and his work in other ministries were all what he had been trained to do. It was very satisfying and spiritually fulfilling and we both felt the hands of the Holy Spirit guiding us.

I would be remiss if I did not say there has been some disillusionment. After several months as a deacon, life was busier and somewhat hectic with so much to do. Confirmation, Holy Communion, Pentecost, Sunday Masses, homilies, Catholic Campaign for Human Development meetings, hospital ministry, Catholic Engaged Encounter, Marriage Encounter, family, friends and full-time work all seem to tax our home and couple life.

Changes, cancellations, tardies, and rescheduling crept into our lives, and some things and activities got pushed aside. Jerry scheduling an out-of-town ministry activity on Mother’s Day was a turning point. We both knew it was time to do some serious discussions. After many hours dialoguing; we came up with a plan for his diaconate service that included family, work and church.

Again, we felt arms of the Holy Spirit surround us. A calendar with the monthly church activities and services helped all of us. Family activities were also scripted on “the calendar” and are given top priority most of the time.

We are all called to serve. My deacon husband is very fortunate to be surrounded by very generous pastors (he had four pastors during his formation years), family and parish community who are appreciative, thankful and supportive of his service. Among my ministries, serving as a deacon’s wife is the most unique and life-giving one, filled with love and blessings.